My Bad

Forgive me for the severeness of my last post and for saying that he's a liar. Okay it's my mistake. I'm just not sure about everything. Okay i will not defend myself any longer. Okay now I'm saying too much 'okay'. It's also my bad that i was jealous. I'm not suppose to be right? I dumped him and i am responsible for what's going on now. I'm not suppose to be jealous that he's close with anyone else. But what can i do? I could not command my feeling to feel what i want it to feel coz if i can i will command it not to feel anything. Then it would be fun, right? Not feeling anything not even a little pain. It was my bad. It was alright between us and i make it worst. Now i don't know how to fix it. Ah jesus help me please.